New Year’s Day falls at a crummy time. It’s cold out, I’m broke from over-spending at Christmas, and worn out from all the holiday hoopla. Also, just about every blog post or article you happen across during the month of January seems to be about setting and reaching goals. It gets boring.

For me, the time to think about goals is on (or near) my birthday, which just happens to be in the spring, and since spring is a time of rebirth, new goals seem especially fitting.

A few years ago, I made a list of “by the time I’m 40″ goals. While I’m not quite there yet, that milestone is looming larger. This year, I reviewed my progress on those “by 40″ goals, and for the most part was pleasantly surprised. One of them was to be working for myself, and I’m doing that. Another was to be in a less-precarious financial position, and though there is always room for improvement, our electricity bill has been paid on time for the last few months, so I feel pretty good about progress in that area.

There is one “by 40″ goal that I’m not making the kind of progress I expected, though. I have been working to become more physically fit for several years because I plan to be the fittest I have ever been within a year. From

nutrition to strength to endurance, I want my body to be in tip-top shape. When I listed this as a goal I thought “That shouldn’t be too difficult. I’ve never been in really great shape.” Alas, it has been harder than expected.

Over the last few years, I’ve made substantial, positive dietary changes and started running on a regular basis, so I have taken steps in the right direction. There are just more steps than I thought, so it’s time to start moving a little faster. I’m not going to bore the world with a breakdown of my work out plans for the next year. I am going to offer some observations about the ways my fitness-related goals and my business-related goals seem to be synergistic. (Ha! There’s my addition to the list of annoying, pretentious business words!)

1. Increased confidence. Feeling physically strong makes me braver when it comes to talking to people. While it may (or may not) be true that slimmer people are more successful statistically than chubbier people, the confidence I gain from feeling strong doesn’t have anything to do with looks. I think it has more to do with endorphins. Or maybe I subconsciously think that if I can run 5 miles, I can also talk to some random person about my work. If you find talking to people difficult, try working out just before you go to your next networking event or whatever. (A shower in between is recommended, of course.)

2. Success in one area encourages success in another. There was a time that I thought I needed to focus on my separate goals…well, separately. Now, I see that increasing the distance I can run at the same time I am increasing the number of words I write each day works. It’s like something clicks and everything moves forward at once. There is the danger of overwhelm with this approach, though, so keeping the idea of balance in mind as you march forward important.

3. There’s no reason to wait. No matter what you are putting off, stop putting it off. If you want to run your own business, start finding out what will be involved and make a plan. If you want to run a marathon, start looking at marathon training guides, or find a running group. There really isn’t a valid reason to not do the things you want to do. People who know me are baffled by my desire to become a runner, and there are about 200 million reasons I “can’t” be. But, last Saturday, I completed a 5K without walking – my time was terrible, I finished in the bottom 20, but I met my personal goal, and that is important.

4. Lessons learned are transferable. The challenges that you face when pursuing a goal are going to be similar, regardless of the goal. If you want to travel the world, money might be an issue. It is also an issue if you want to own a house, start a business, join a gym, or even plant a garden. Once you figure out some creative solutions to the challenges surrounding one goal, you will have an easier time when the same problems crop up as you pursue your next goal.

5. People will help you. It’s been interesting to learn how many writers are also runners. Through talking with people about writing, I’ve found lots of encouragement to run. Whether it’s through comments on blog posts, chatter on Twitter, or in-person networking events, professional contacts offer me advice, cheers, and general support in reaching my other goals. Just as you may find that your friends and family can give you guidance in your business endeavors, your colleagues will often support your personal goals.

Others have noticed how reaching one goal can spur you on to reach another. Leo Babauta says that quitting smoking was the “change that put the others in motion.” Peter Bowerman talks about how reaching a goal feels like climbing a mountain, to reach the peak, then seeing another, higher peak, and climbing to reach it, too. He calls it “peak to peak.” For me, though, striving towards multiple goals simultaneously works.

Have you experienced a snowball effect in reaching your goals? Or, do you need find success in one area before you take on another? All of the blooming and new growth outside my window (and my recent birthday) has me pondering not only new goals, but the process of achieving goals. Please share your own observations!

 

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A couple of days ago, I came across a list of companies owned by Monsanto on Facebook. The person who put it together wanted it to be a sort of easy-reference sheet for people to print off and take shopping with them so that they can boycott Monsanto. I did something I rarely do – I shared the list without looking at it very closely. Within minutes, one of my Facebook friends commented about how at least one of the companies listed (Coca-Cola) is not owned by Monsanto. Then he posted several status updates advising activists on what not to do – and I have to say that each of his points was well-justified.

The whole thing made me think, though, about where I stand when it comes to “activism” and whether or not it makes any difference where I spend my dollars. (It really, really doesn’t. I don’t have that

many dollars to spend.) I realized that my approach is probably a little different than most people’s. Rather than boycott Monsanto, I try to support smaller companies. When I think of Monsanto, I think of seeds because they control and unbelievable number of seeds. Since I plant seeds every spring, and don’t like Monsanto’s tactics, I try to be aware of where my seeds come from. I search the internet for retailers that explain how they obtain their stock. I look for very small growers who harvest their seeds themselves.

In other words, instead of thinking about withholding money from Monsanto, which wouldn’t make a bit of difference anyway, I try to spend money with independent retailers.

But. This is not a post about Monsanto. (Fooled you, didn’t I?) This is a post about how thinking about things just a little differently can become happier, more successful, and more beautiful. Well, that last one might be a stretch, but you can definitely approach the world in a more relaxed way, thereby causing fewer stress-related wrinkles, which would make you more beautiful, right?

Just a slight change of perspective can make a big difference when it comes to lots of issues or problems. I am not an over-the-top, perky, optimistic kind of person, but looking for the most positive perspective in some situations really helps me avoid the deep, dark abyss of depression:

1. Deciding how you want to spend time, instead of bemoaning having to spend time doing some things you don’t want to do.

Instead of thinking about how much I don’t want to clean the fridge, or send invoices, I think about the run I will enjoy after those things are done. This can be a really important, life-changing shift in perspective. It’s pretty much how I ended up running Smiling Tree. I resented spending the majority of my day in an office in my last job, and could only think about marketing to potential freelance customers when I got home. Eventually I realized the only sane thing to do would be to build a plan that would allow me to spend most of my time freelancing. I got laid off before that plan was fully realized, but it was in place and I was working towards quitting my job by then.

2. Create a “done” list instead of a “to do” list.

About once a week or so, I will not go through my morning ritual of list-making while oatmeal-eating. On those days, I will jot down tasks throughout the day as I complete them. Sometimes this doesn’t work because it’s easy lose my way without a list to refer to. More often, though, I end up with a nice, long list of completed chores and a sense of satisfaction – by 2pm or so. There is definitely something appealing about crossing things off a list, but taking the time to notice just how much you get done in the space of a few hours is nice, too. Plus, my “to do” lists grow as quickly as I cross things off and seeing a “to do” list grow doesn’t feel nearly as good as seeing a “done” list grow.

3. During a negotiation, or an argument, take note of what you both agree on, rather than focusing solely on what you disagree on.

If you are arguing with a spouse, your kid, or some other immediate family member, it might be impossible for you to admit there is a single thing in the world that you agree on. Other than in those situations, though, you can almost always find common ground to use as a starting point. When you examine areas of agreement, sometimes you find paths around sticking points. Changing your perspective often activates your creativity, helping you come up with unexpected solutions.

4. Purposefully change your physical environment.

Turn your desk around. Stand up and work. Go outside for awhile. Open (or close) your blinds or curtains for a day. Wear your pajamas all day, or if you are more like me, force yourself to get dressed every morning for a week. You might not notice it right away, but changes in your environment can make a huge difference in your perspective and attitude. I have a heating pad in my desk chair, that warms up my lower back. I turn it on just about every morning while I have coffee and oatmeal. It really changes my morning outlook. Instead of thinking about how ridiculous it is that my back hurts when I get up, I think about how nice and warm that heating pad is. Since I’ve been using it, I tend to get started on working quicker in the morning. Maybe there’s no correlation, but maybe there is.

5. Choose one small thing you can do, and quit thinking about all the things you cannot do.

I cannot fit driving for 20 minutes one way, three times a week, to take a one hour kickboxing class into my schedule. I have to work. I’d really love to take a kickboxing class because it looks like so much fun. I could use the fact that I can’t fit my preferred activity in my schedule as an excuse to do no activity. Instead I look for functional strength work out videos (which generally last 15-30 minutes) on the internet. Burpees and pushups are not as much fun as I imagine kickboxing would be, but they aren’t awful, and they get me out of my chair. There are all sorts of things we cannot do, but if you find something that you can do, and do it, your perspective will move a little more toward the positive end of the scale.

 

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Yesterday, I ran across an ad for a job in my Facebook stream. Pretty much everything about the position appealed to me, and I spent several minutes reading the posting and thinking about who I knew at the organization and comparing my experience

with the qualifications listed. Then I just sat there feeling conflicted. This has happened a few times in the recent past. 

 

I’ve said several times that I don’t want another full time job. I love writing, working from home and having the ability to be choosy about my who I work with. There’s no dress code and no schedule, I don’t have a commute, and I get to play with my dogs or dig in the garden whenever I need a break. So, why would a job opening raise such turmoil?

 

At least a couple of my clients have struggled with the same question. Would a position with a company give me some stability while I continue to build a business? Could I still do a good job of running a business while working somewhere else? Should I be thinking about winding my business down and start looking for a full time position? These are the questions that haunt my darkest professional moments.

 

For me, so far, the answer to all of those questions has been no, and for a long and varied list of reasons, not the least of which is that I know the grass is NOT greener anywhere else. I’ve never had a job that I enjoyed as much as I have enjoyed Smiling Tree Writing. That doesn’t mean that there are not hassles and aggravations, but for the most part they are small, and overshadowed by the good stuff.

 

If you are a business owner, do you ever contemplate taking on another job, either part time or full time? Even if you don’t seriously consider it, do you indulge in fantasies about working in an office, and watching those lovely, regular paychecks flow into your bank account?

 

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For years, we hosted a weekly Pizza Night. On Monday nights, we ordered pizza, had company over and generally started the week off with a small party. For a few months it was even “Pizza, PBR and a Published Work,” where we traded books, drank beer and ate pizza. It was awesome.

 

Things changed. People moved away, children grew up and life pretty much went on. These days, Pizza Night is usually my husband eating pizza while I have a salad and our kids are at work. It’s a far quieter and less interesting affair than in the past. Last night, however, some friends who have moved away joined us for Pizza Night as a final “hoorah!” at the end of a week-long visit. LOTS of people came over to bid them farewell and enjoy some pizza.

 

It’s amazing how things change and how you adjust without even realizing it. Sometimes, thinking about how our weekly pizza extravaganza has become more of a time for quietly watching “Antiques Roadshow” I feel sad. Or maybe old is how I feel. Either way, it’s a nostalgic and wistful and not really happy kind of feeling.

 

But, during the festivities last night, I found myself missing the silence and ease of our new Monday night ritual. It’s not that I wished everyone would leave, but more that I felt relieved that it was the exception to the rule. It seems I have unwittingly adjusted to a different normal.

 

It’s amazing how that happens – how you can get used to, and even come to enjoy, things that seemed awful to you at a different stage of life. Or, conversely, how things you once loved can become burdensome.

 

My career is not at all what I ever dreamed it would be, but that’s okay, because it’s much better than anything I ever hoped for. When you can let go of any sort of preconceived expectations and begin to think about what feels right for YOU, life takes funny turns. You have to be willing to work hard, see things through and be nice to people for those turns to lead you somewhere pleasant, but choosing the proverbial road less traveled is both surprising and fulfilling.

 

Accepting the fact that life changes is sometimes difficult for me, but I am working hard to learn that there are almost always bright gems of happiness wrapped up those changes. It’s so easy to focus on the things that you must give up rather than recognizing the unexpected positive aspects of a new situation.

 

With the entire world seeing an enormous shift in where and how people work, many friends and family members are finding themselves without employment. So many people see losing a job as a huge crisis because all they can think of is the loss of a “steady” paycheck. The loss of a job can also be an opportunity to evaluate, and perhaps improve, your professional life. Not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur, but we could all stand to think hard about how we earn money once in a while.

 

Change is scary. No matter if it’s a change in income, status, housing, friendship or livelihood, when the unknown is involved, fear probably is too. The surprising, and lovely, thing is: One day you might find yourself blissfully happy and look around and think “How did this happen?”

 

 

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Kid: “Mom, it really hurts when I do this.” (Kid holds elbow in the air and swings hand around)

Mom: “Then STOP DOING THAT!”

When  you are doing something that is causing you pain – in business,  marriage,  health, whatever – it can be ridiculously easy to just keep on doing it while noticing the fact it hurts.

 

Years ago, I had a job teaching Spanish at a small, private school. It was a k-8 school with no affiliation or trust fund or anything like that. Enrollment had been declining for years, partly because the part of town where it was had gone downhill and partly because the administrators flatly refused to make any changes.

 

It took a while for me to realize just how committed to “doing things the way we’ve always done them” these folks were. In fact, I spent the first six months or so asking questions, making suggestions and being yelled at for thinking of changing anything about the Spanish program.

 

Every year on Grandparents’ Day, there was a performance in which each of the Spanish classes would put on a skit or sing a song. They had been using the same program since the first year they had a Spanish teacher. Exactly. The. Same. Show.

 

Need I actually type the words “the school ended up closing due to lack enrollment?” Because, of course, that’s what happened. There were obviously far more factors involved in the eventual shuttering than the worn out Grandparents’ Day program. The yearly rehashing of exactly the same show was a symptom of a much deeper refusal to change.

 

If something isn’t working, start tweaking. Change is scary, but not as scary as what could happen if you don’t change. If your marketing efforts aren’t making the phones ring, try something else. Evaluate. Plan. Adjust. Repeat.

 

Is there something you do on a regular basis that hurts? (Besides paying taxes. We all already know how painful that can be!) Maybe you cringe every time you rent an expensive booth at a trade show because you simply do not see the return on your investment. Maybe you spend hours writing blog posts that have never brought you new business. Where does it hurt? How can you change it?

 

 

 

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