New Year’s Day falls at a crummy time. It’s cold out, I’m broke from over-spending at Christmas, and worn out from all the holiday hoopla. Also, just about every blog post or article you happen across during the month of January seems to be about setting and reaching goals. It gets boring.

For me, the time to think about goals is on (or near) my birthday, which just happens to be in the spring, and since spring is a time of rebirth, new goals seem especially fitting.

A few years ago, I made a list of “by the time I’m 40″ goals. While I’m not quite there yet, that milestone is looming larger. This year, I reviewed my progress on those “by 40″ goals, and for the most part was pleasantly surprised. One of them was to be working for myself, and I’m doing that. Another was to be in a less-precarious financial position, and though there is always room for improvement, our electricity bill has been paid on time for the last few months, so I feel pretty good about progress in that area.

There is one “by 40″ goal that I’m not making the kind of progress I expected, though. I have been working to become more physically fit for several years because I plan to be the fittest I have ever been within a year. From

nutrition to strength to endurance, I want my body to be in tip-top shape. When I listed this as a goal I thought “That shouldn’t be too difficult. I’ve never been in really great shape.” Alas, it has been harder than expected.

Over the last few years, I’ve made substantial, positive dietary changes and started running on a regular basis, so I have taken steps in the right direction. There are just more steps than I thought, so it’s time to start moving a little faster. I’m not going to bore the world with a breakdown of my work out plans for the next year. I am going to offer some observations about the ways my fitness-related goals and my business-related goals seem to be synergistic. (Ha! There’s my addition to the list of annoying, pretentious business words!)

1. Increased confidence. Feeling physically strong makes me braver when it comes to talking to people. While it may (or may not) be true that slimmer people are more successful statistically than chubbier people, the confidence I gain from feeling strong doesn’t have anything to do with looks. I think it has more to do with endorphins. Or maybe I subconsciously think that if I can run 5 miles, I can also talk to some random person about my work. If you find talking to people difficult, try working out just before you go to your next networking event or whatever. (A shower in between is recommended, of course.)

2. Success in one area encourages success in another. There was a time that I thought I needed to focus on my separate goals…well, separately. Now, I see that increasing the distance I can run at the same time I am increasing the number of words I write each day works. It’s like something clicks and everything moves forward at once. There is the danger of overwhelm with this approach, though, so keeping the idea of balance in mind as you march forward important.

3. There’s no reason to wait. No matter what you are putting off, stop putting it off. If you want to run your own business, start finding out what will be involved and make a plan. If you want to run a marathon, start looking at marathon training guides, or find a running group. There really isn’t a valid reason to not do the things you want to do. People who know me are baffled by my desire to become a runner, and there are about 200 million reasons I “can’t” be. But, last Saturday, I completed a 5K without walking – my time was terrible, I finished in the bottom 20, but I met my personal goal, and that is important.

4. Lessons learned are transferable. The challenges that you face when pursuing a goal are going to be similar, regardless of the goal. If you want to travel the world, money might be an issue. It is also an issue if you want to own a house, start a business, join a gym, or even plant a garden. Once you figure out some creative solutions to the challenges surrounding one goal, you will have an easier time when the same problems crop up as you pursue your next goal.

5. People will help you. It’s been interesting to learn how many writers are also runners. Through talking with people about writing, I’ve found lots of encouragement to run. Whether it’s through comments on blog posts, chatter on Twitter, or in-person networking events, professional contacts offer me advice, cheers, and general support in reaching my other goals. Just as you may find that your friends and family can give you guidance in your business endeavors, your colleagues will often support your personal goals.

Others have noticed how reaching one goal can spur you on to reach another. Leo Babauta says that quitting smoking was the “change that put the others in motion.” Peter Bowerman talks about how reaching a goal feels like climbing a mountain, to reach the peak, then seeing another, higher peak, and climbing to reach it, too. He calls it “peak to peak.” For me, though, striving towards multiple goals simultaneously works.

Have you experienced a snowball effect in reaching your goals? Or, do you need find success in one area before you take on another? All of the blooming and new growth outside my window (and my recent birthday) has me pondering not only new goals, but the process of achieving goals. Please share your own observations!

 

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Years ago, every time I had to drive I’d get sick. Eventually, I just started riding the bus, walking or

begging someone else to drive me wherever I needed to go. This was before it was a law in TN that all drivers had to be insured, and at a time when purchasing insurance would have meant not eating for our family.

 

Our cars were tricky to drive. Things like brakes that had to be pumped a precise number of times before you wanted to actually stop, toggle switches, gears that shifted from 4th to 1st instead of the normal standard H pattern and doors that only opened from the outside defined our driving experiences.

 

Combine the lack of insurance and operating a barely functional vehicle with a little road construction or rush hour traffic and what you got was a hivey, anxiety-ridden dava, who thought she was going to throw up pretty much all the time.

 

Fear. Everyone feels it is some situations, and sometimes – like driving during my poor college years – it is justifiable and even desirable. Fear can act as a sort of built-in risk mitigator, but if you are running a business and you let fear paralyze you, your income will suffer. The further your income falls, the scarier it is and an ugly downward spiral can ensue.

 

Being a generally worried kind of person who also happens to have a ridiculously vivid imagination, I’m learning to recognize and deal with fear. Usually, I hesitate to talk about being afraid because it can be a little humiliating to publicly announce you are a wienie, but I was inspired by the courage Marian Schembari and her blog post about being proactive.

 

Here’s what I’ve figured out so far:

1. The first thing is to realize that you are afraid of something. It’s easier to think you are staring listlessly at another hand of solitaire because you are a slacker than it is to admit that you are too afraid to do anything else.

2. It helps to do something unrelated to whatever is scaring you but that is still a personal challenge. Progress towards a goal stiffens the spine. I’ve given myself 30 day challenges, trained for a 5K, and taken on volunteer gigs as a way to gently push myself toward being just a little more courageous.

3. Talk to somebody who is likely to understand why you are afraid. Just reading Marian’s post and the comments on it made me feel better. It’s easier to talk about what’s bothering you than it is to put on a show for your peers and colleagues. Choose someone trustworthy who will listen.

4. Face it head on and deal. This one is hard, but if you set a certain time each day to just suck it up and deal with whatever it is for an hour – or even 10 minutes – you will find it far easier as time goes on. It helps some people to actually put it on the calendar.

5. Write out the absolute worst case scenario, imagining exactly how every little detail would feel. Usually, it’s not as bad as we think. The specter is often much worse than the actuality – not always, but most of the time.

 

That’s all I’ve come up with at this point. How do you handle it when you are afraid?

 

 

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This morning I made a to-do list.  Then, I sat there with it for a long time.  Just feeling completely overwhelmed.  I made the list fairly short, knowing that it would be impossible to do everything that needs doing today.  So, I made a reasonable list of things that would make life easier in our house during the next week.

Still, the list paralyzed me. It just felt like a terrible way to spend a Sunday; cleaning and working and buying things like trash bags. I would much rather read something by Ursula K. Le Guin and nap.

How many times have you heard someone say something like “I wish I could quit smoking” or “lose weight” or any number of other things people want/need/should do?  My first reaction is thinking, “Well, just do it.  If you want to quit smoking, stop putting cigarettes in your mouth.”

Now, you might be thinking that I’ve never had to quit smoking so don’t know how hard it really is, but I have quit smoking. More than once. Each time I would stay quit for about two years, then take up the habit again always telling myself it was so I would lose weight.  And it worked.  I lost 60 pounds the last time I started smoking.

The last time I quit was four years ago, and this time, I think it will be permanent. I gained 50 pounds, so now have a different goal.  I really wish I could lose some weight.  Somebody (a thin person) at work one day said, “It’s easy to lose weight,” and I thought “Obviously you’ve never had to lose weight.” But that person was right.  If you want to lose weight all you have to do is  eat well and exercise.

Why is it so hard to do the simple things that will help us reach the most important goals?  Why did an easy, useful to-do list paralyze me? How do you overcome that resistance to just jumping in and doing what will help make life better? And, is it possible to be too efficient and organize?  Will you miss out on opportunities for joy and spontaneity by becoming a slave to your list?

One of my favorite posts on zenhabits.com is one titled The Lazy Manifesto: Do Less. Then, Do Even Less.  Maybe the key to reaching all of those goals is to choose to work on only the very most important things.  Make the list as simple as possible, enjoy working on it, then take a nap.

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Choosing to take on new projects, striving to reach new goals or working to build something unique challenges and inspires but sometimes also drains and dispirits.  In deciding on topics for this blog, I make an effort to focus on those things that help me keep working toward my goals and that might help others feel motivated or inspired.  But there are days, even weeks sometimes, that I just feel too dispirited to even pretend I feel motivated.

The last week or two has been like that.  Every day has presented its own obstacles and barriers and simply getting things done has felt like winning battles.  One of the teenagers in my house has dealt with various health problems for most of her life, and it appears she may have more to face.  Nothing life-threatening, but certainly long-lasting and painful.  Watching a child suffer pain is torturous, and then add to that petty and unhelpful doctors’ staffs and insurance companies…well, it doesn’t leave you feeling like you can take on the world.

It’s humbling, though, to know that our problem is small compared to many, and we are lucky enough to have insurance coverage despite a chronic condition.  It feels petty to focus on the hard stuff when there are so many others with much harder stuff to handle.

Stories of people who overcome insurmountable odds to succeed when success appears impossible are inspiring, and maybe a little overwhelming.  Watching my daughter keep up with her schoolwork and do normal teenager things while in constant pain is inspiring in a different way.  Knowing that she smiles and gets on with it certainly means I can take a few minutes to finish writing an article or post.

Even though the last few weeks have been less fun than we like, in a strange way, it feels good.  Maybe even inspiring.

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