It’s easy to get off track. No matter what you are doing, even if it is something as simple as cleaning off your kitchen table, it’s easy to get sidetracked and start sorting mail or dusting knick-knacks or packing lunches for school.
In January, I set a personal goal for myself that was reasonable and attainable, and for three months I stayed right on top of it. Then, in April, I started paying attention to other things. Important things to be sure, but still not the things I had decided to focus on.
This probably happens to most people. It’s the reason so many New Years’ Resolutions are jokes by March. It’s probably also normal to feel bad about getting off course. Unproductive and unhelpful feelings of guilt impede our already faltering progress.
It’s amazing that you can continue to learn new (and important) things about yourself no matter how old you are. My most recent realization has been that I have a self-destructive streak about a mile wide.
It happens unconsiously, but when I begin to lose focus, I seem to sabotage myself. It becomes harder with every passing moment, day, week, to get back on track. Surely this is not an unusual form of self destruction?
Hopefully being aware of this pattern will help me avoid repeating it, or at least help me notice that it is happening. Rather than spend time feeling guilty I am going to use that time to refocus, figure out what went wrong, and try again.